


Faulty Mechanisms of the Forgetful World

by Illusioneery (Arkee)



Series: Tales From The Castle Of Clouds [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Aftermath of Time Travel, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Depressed/Suicidal Character, Destroy-It-To-Fix-It, Local God Of Time Does Something That Leaves Sephiroth Broken, M/M, Mourning, Multiple Instances Of The Same Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sephiroth As A Party Member, Shapeshifting, Untagged Background Relationships, part 2 of 3, referenced character death, slowburn, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkee/pseuds/Illusioneery
Summary: After being gifted with a world that can still be saved and losing something precious to him, Sephiroth tries to pick up the pieces of what was left behind, but ends up having to deal with much more than he bargained for.A direct continuation of "Gears of Time"!
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Series: Tales From The Castle Of Clouds [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/908100
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Faulty Mechanisms of the Forgetful World

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! We're finally on part 2 of this!
> 
> I was expecting this opening chapter to turn out longer than it has, but I guess it's still good enough? I just want to put it out already, haha.
> 
> Anyway, I think it's important of me to say that uh, there will be some Aerti on this. But not in the way one would normally expect them to be in a fic and hence why that goes untagged. If you're here from reading the first fic in the series and don't like the ship for whatever reason, don't fret! It's not meant to be endgame or anything either because of [SPOILER] and it's more about exploring their character traits than about the relationship.
> 
> That aside, I hope once again this is a good read! (〃o w o)b  
> Thanks for being here!

Working for Shinra was the tried and true way to be witness to all sorts of bizarre events, especially if one worked at the labs or on field jobs. And most especially by being part of the crew aboard the Highwind, which carried all kinds of cargo from all over the world to Junon and back.

It happened so much that, by that point, veterans could bring a ten feet tall, one thousand winged, four headed and seven hundred eyed abomination on fire into the airship with nothing more than a deadpan expression on their faces.

But even so, there was a limit to what would be considered far too surreal for even the well seasoned folks.

The sight of — then declared dead —  _ General Sephiroth _ carrying a crystal containing a second, fully naked Sephiroth, while having a Buster-type blade on his back instead of the famous Masamune, and an odd group of mismatched people with him wasn't the definition of "far too surreal". No. It was way  _ beyond _ that. Some of them even pinched one another to check if they weren’t dreaming.

And that Captain Cid Highwind was among their numbers only made it all even more bizarre; the kind of experience one could only have once in life... if they were the kind of people who would win a lottery, that is.

"Son of a fucker… I can't believe you bastards still run this ol' lady."

Yes, it was most decidedly him and not some sort of mirage from having to endure the Shinra big wigs' weirdness all the way from Junon to the frozen hellscapes of what seemed to be the end of the world. Gaia, how they had missed him… None of them had seen their old captain since the days of the rocket shenanigans. He looked older, of course, but not only in age. It was the kind of older coming from someone who had abandoned themselves, who had allowed time to take the reins because the big dream was dead and gone. Quite sad to look at, but the crew couldn't have been happier to see him again, to immediately receive orders and requests from him again.

Even if it meant defying Shinra and abandoning the current president out there.

In the end, Aerith and the others never needed to fight their way into the airship to steal it from Shinra's hands. It was just a peaceful process of reclaiming something that belonged to one of them already, something even named after him.

"Ah, my first time boarding an airship," Aerith said, part enthusiastically, part terrified, "Well, guess it's gonna be a fun time!"

Vincent gave a hum of acknowledgement before boarding, taking a very unsure looking Yuffie along with him. Tifa approached to take Aerith's hand in support and, soon enough, they all boarded.

Sephiroth remained mostly quiet, aside from the question of where he should put his "cargo".

He didn't like being in that particular airship or the occasional, familiar looks the crew directed him. Those filled him with something heavy; expectations that would just go unfilled, a phantom sensation atop his head, as if someone had just patted him there.

He wanted to turn into a dog.

However, the weight of memories linked to being a dog in that place kept him firm as he was, heavier as they were compared to all else.

With the crystal secure, he saw a white wolf in its reflection; stalking and avoiding him in equal measure. But behind him, once Sephiroth turned to check, there was nothing to be seen.

He wanted nothing to do with it and yet, he knew those eyes and he thought he knew something from the extra fragments of memory he obtained that explained it. 

For starters, he knew that the wolf wasn't supposed to hang around like it was doing. That, if his line of thinking was correct, it was most likely the origin of all that trouble, in a sense. That if he had the chance to look too closely, he'd see the scar from that one time it had been turned into materia; that imperfection laced with bittersweet tears in the otherwise untouched coat of sheer white.

But if it was free to go, no longer bound to the materia, why was it following him? What did it want?

"...You alright?" Aerith called from behind him.

Sephiroth almost jumped out of his skin, failing to notice her approach until it was too late. Wasn't the door supposed to make some sort of noise? Wouldn't he be able to hear her footsteps? There was also no one else accompanying her. Did she just dodge AVALANCHE's careful eyes somehow?

"Ah, silly me," she said, "Why do I even have to ask when you sprouted a tail and fluffy ears just from me saying anything?"

"I'm… I just…"

He turned to look and, without fail, there was a wolf tail coming out of him. Well, just what one would expect from being in a Jenova vessel, thinking about wolves and dogs and being caught off guard by a little flower girl. Just a normal thing on a normal day. He held his tail in front of his chest and lowered his ears, a little defensive.

"Doing some self-reflecting?" She asked.

"You… could say so, yes."

Aerith hummed approvingly and turned her attention to the crystal, doing some thinking of her own.

"You know," she said after staring at it for a while, liking nothing about his silence, "I always thought you were compensating. With that sword of yours, I mean. But you're a big boy, for sure!"

It took Sephiroth a few moments to understand what exactly she was so casually talking about; no shame in her at all, only playful mirth and wonder. He hid his face against his tail the best he could, taken aback by that kind of power and, maybe, the realization that it felt embarrassing now to be seen like that by others, even if he spent a great deal of his life exposed and being poked about.

And well, that Cloud had likely seen that too, when he gave him the Black Materia.

Cloud, who would've probably joked about that same thing as well, or at least would've given an attempt at it, before turning away in the kind of shame Aerith didn't seem to have. If he was  _ there. _

If he hadn't been tricked into following the strings' sweet pull to present that one materia in offering.

If only Sephiroth had run after him to wrap an arm around his waist and tell him not to leave him behind, for his heart ached selfishly with the need to confess; that need to hold Cloud down and own him in some way that he had pushed to the back of his mind to let fate run its course.

Sephiroth didn't even notice his hands balling into fists or the tears which soon started falling, lost as he was in the distant echo of Cloud's voice calling out to him with the sweet, poisonous promise of Reunion. The realization Cloud reached that Sephiroth had been summoning him, somehow.

He didn't notice how his breathing picked up in pace or how his body had taken to trembling, drowning as he was in that sea of feelings.

_ Cloud's no longer here— _

_ Cloud is— _

There was a wolf looking at him, completely silent, blinding white with mako eyes; not quite there but not quite gone, making it so there were three of him in that space. The monster's flesh, the human corpse and a snowy ghost.

_ (Which one of them is the real one?) _

"...Sephiroth?" A distant voice called, somewhere above the surface. Somewhere nearby? He couldn't tell, and Cloud wasn't there anyway. He wasn't—  _ A long sword piercing his chest and blood everywhere. Shaking hands and failed promises. _ "Sephiroth, please breathe with me," the voice instructed firmly, yet gentle, her fingertips reaching his face to try to ground him again, to try to bring him back from his inner demons; from his very own self who couldn't deal with what happened just yet.

_ You'll fill this place with clouds for him— _

"Slow breaths, follow me please—"

_ But what's the point, when you get to kill him yourself? When you can't protect him from yourself? _

"Like this. One, two, one, two… You can do it, I know you can."

He had to sit down, wrapping shaky arms around his legs so he could start to follow. But was he really following? He couldn't tell. He just felt awful and distant in that room he was filling with clouds without even paying attention. Alone. All alone, as he usually ended up being.

Aerith was there but he still felt… disconnected. And Sephiroth didn't like the things that kind of disconnection reminded him of.

_ Alone among the books, looking for Mother, looking for a home. Alone in a building full of people after the war and alone indulging a certain someone Angeal left behind during a mission, after the war had passed and his friends had left him behind. Alone— _

"It's okay, I'm here," she offered, a hand coming to gently touch the fluffy ears atop his head, "it'll be okay."

Sephiroth doubted it would, but he focused on riding it out; trying to resurface instead of drowning in it further. He came out of it feeling like an absolute mess, but Aerith was right. It was going to be okay, for a while at least.

“There you are,” she said, cheerful but keeping her voice down to keep things from getting worse again. Sephiroth wanted to thank her for helping but he couldn’t find the words to do so at the moment. But even that was fine too, and Aerith patted his head with an offer.

“We can talk about it if you want. But you don’t need to if it’s too much.”

“No. It… it’s okay.”

The way he sounded so strained saying it was something he hated. It reminded him of the labs a little too much for comfort. Of being questioned, analyzed and poked around right after a mako shower, the moment when he was the most sensitive and out of it. But he wasn’t in the labs anymore and he knew Aerith was just offering comfort. It was okay. It was going to be okay.

He just needed to take his time with it. Breathe, focus on the hands on his ears and get himself together.

“In my original time,” he started but had to pause for a little while before continuing, “after you… pass away, when the others go to the Crater… I… I don’t know if it was just me or Jenova or both of us, but…  _ he _ gets tricked into handing over the Black Materia.  _ He _ puts it… inside the crystal…”

Sephiroth couldn’t bring himself to say Cloud’s name.

It did him no good at the moment, serving only as a sharp reminder that Cloud was gone, this time for good. It felt acidic on his tongue as if it was pure mako. It felt wrong, felt forbidden.

“...Oh. So that’s when Meteor gets… Gaia. Come here.”

She opened her arms and he went right into it, folding himself in a way that let him press his face against her shoulder. She was warm and smelled like fresh vegetables and flowers. It was really soothing. He basked in it for a while, feeling as though he was recharging his lost energy.

At least until they heard Tifa’s voice from the outside, calling for her.

Well, it wasn’t as if they could spend the day in the cargo room like that. And as worrying as that crisis had been, Sephiroth probably could hold his own for a little while, so…

“Coming!” Aerith replied loud enough to be heard, then turned to Sephiroth with her voice quiet once again. “Don’t stay here too much, okay? I know it’s your body but… it’s not doing you any good right now, is it? I’ll be around!”

“It… it’s not like you can flee a flying airship.”

Her laugh rang just like bells. Like her mother’s laugh.

“I guess not. Anyway, see you soon.”

* * *

It turned out that they needed to stop at Junon. There was only so much one could fly without refueling the airship, after all, and the crew needed a break from flying to take care of themselves a bit and perform a full maintenance on the airship just as well.

The issue was just that Junon was still a base of operations for Shinra. Not that it was a big problem, in the end. They could don the spare uniforms of the crew and mix in. And Sephiroth… could just disguise himself as Rufus, while they prayed it wouldn’t cause any issues.

Even though the sight of his reflection as such disgusted him.

But he held himself enough not to punch the mirror because of that or because of the second set of his eyes watching him. He was the only one looking at his own reflection.  _ There’s no wolf, _ he told himself.  _ He’s not here. I’m just seeing things where there’s nothing. _

And yet, canine eyes watched him until he was able to leave the mirror be and continue on his way.

Sephiroth wondered if they followed him from afar as he thought about the next steps.

Aerith’s plan was simple on the paper but complicated in practice; make Shinra stop, go after Jenova and… find a way to get Sephiroth back into his proper body, to finish Jenova off.

And many of the issues Cloud and the others had to deal with originally were no longer a worry. Meteor wasn’t in the sky. The Weapons were still deep in slumber. Shinra definitely had no need for the Huge Materias if they weren’t going to use them against the non existent Meteor. Hojo was dead, and without a threat coming from having a shielded Crater with a mastermind inside, there would be no need to relocate the Sister Ray to Midgar.

It all had Sephiroth feeling a little lost.

Would they go directly to Shinra first, after the airship had been refueled and cared for? Barge right in? But then again, they had left Rufus to chill down in the Crater, so it could be a while until they caught wind of him in that continent.

So would they go after other parts of Jenova, then? Or maybe—

"Hey, Mr. President," Aerith called out to him in an almost jokingly way, "I heard they have some submarines docked on the way to the reactor. Requesting permission to go investigate the ocean."

Sephiroth looked down at her — even Rufus was taller than her little self — and considered. Wasn't there something about a key somewhere in the ocean? Hn.

"Let's gather a team. Submarines are too tight for the whole group."

"Yes, sir!" She beamed. It was a tease more than a proper salutation and it almost made him laugh.  _ Almost. _ A combination of still feeling like a mess and trying to stay in character kept him from it.

He smiled discreetly instead.

"Stop that. It makes you look suspicious."

Aerith simply smiled back and let out another, very enthusiastic "yes, sir!"

He rolled his eyes and pretended not to smile.

* * *

Security in Junon was much tighter than back in Shinra, especially around the zone of the reactor. So even if he was technically the President, their group was kept somewhat small; just him, Aerith, Tifa, who had insisted in not leaving Aerith alone with him like that, and Vincent, whose Turk suit he had donned fit like a glove.

They didn't even know where he had found that.

They knew even less that he knew how to pilot a submarine. Not even Sephiroth, who had knowledge of many lives and about a few Vincents.

It quickly turned out to be a weird trip.

Tifa kept her distance from him. But that forced her to keep her distance from Aerith as well, so she approached rather often with a repulsed expression. Sephiroth thought of Cloud's story about the Emerald Weapon roaming those parts and could swear ever so often he had seen a glimpse of it where there should be none.

He could swear for a couple seconds that the movement wasn't just an extra large wolf at the bottom of the ocean, but there it was once in a while; mako eyes bright in the depths, staring at him constantly, as if wanting something out of him that he couldn't provide, for he didn't know what it was.

It felt as if the wolf had stared at him for ages before Tifa pointed at something shiny in one of the underwear caves they visited.

"It looks… Ancient," Aerith offered, "it shouldn't be here."

"I'll reel it in," Vincent assured her.

And with that, things had once again changed, driving their plans away from Midgar for the time being.

* * *

“Grandfather might know a little more about this,” Nanaki said once they got back to Junon with their catch.

By that point, the crew had just finished doing any necessary maintenance to the airship after refueling and everyone had the opportunity to rest a little. Which meant they could depart from that accursed place at any time.

“Ah, great! Let’s go to him, then,” Aerith decided.

She really made it sound as if Bugenhagen was in the neighborhood instead of an entire continent apart. Almost as if they wouldn’t have to endure another very long airship flight on their way over there. Or maybe she just liked riding an airship. Sephiroth couldn’t really tell, but it would make some degree of sense if it was mostly that.

Regardless of the actual reason for her making things sound too easy, this time around Sephiroth avoided the cargo room as if it was ridden with disease and settled for watching the clouds pass by the airship in its flight. Not that it was a better option than staying inside. It pulled on his heartstrings anyway, with his own memories and memories of other Sephiroths attached to the passing of the clouds.

He still couldn’t decide whether or not he could call those his memories as well.

They were technically his, but on another hand… if those were his, it meant that all those other lives were his as well. And he couldn’t quite bear it, thinking about all the times that Cloud had to apologize or let guilt consume him for ending his life; couldn’t feel good at all thinking about how many times he took so many precious things from Cloud by just… being around and alive.

The same way Aerith made things sound easier than they were, it would be very easy to just… jump off the flying airship and never open his wing. So much that it was tempting. AVALANCHE barged into Shinra more than once in his original time and not only did they succeed, they even brought Shinra down in the end.

The problem of trying to get him back into that other body would cease to exist with his fall.

And it would be okay, wouldn’t it? While it was good, the AVALANCHE in his original time didn’t need him to track Jenova down. It would appear on its own eventually, piece by piece, starting with him.

Lastly, if he were gone, Tifa wouldn’t have to worry about Aerith keeping suspicious individuals in their team. She’d be able to just carry on and mourn properly.

Cloud shouldn’t have sacrificed himself for him.

Not when Sephiroth had taken so much from him, time and time again. It wasn’t fair. He was a war criminal, no matter how much effort he had once put in trying to be a regular, helpful civilian. No matter if it was Shinra who pulled his strings since he was a kid. He was still—

He was—

A tail wagged close enough to his calf to call his attention.

Sephiroth thought it was Nanaki and tore his gaze away from the clouds and his unfortunate musings to look down. But his eyes found double mako green instead of a single yellow and he almost jumped out of his body in fright.

The way the wolf stared at him made him even more unnerved than his own thoughts. It stared and didn’t do much else, freezing him in place by the sheer intensity of its presence; the glow of white fur and the mirror of his own eyes only.

The wolf didn’t speak.

It didn’t attack either, it just—

“W-what do you want?” Sephiroth bit his own lip, hating the way he stuttered.

The wolf couldn’t reply. And a moment later…

“Hey, nation destroying jerk, Aerith is looking for you, so stop looking at your feet and let’s go before I throw up on you,” Yuffie said.

He blinked. The wolf was gone once again. Sephiroth refrained from screaming in frustration.

“...Tell her I’m coming.”

* * *

Nibelheim was to the north, Cosmo Canyon still quite a way to the south. And that was where they had stopped, just hovering above… a cave.

It was encircled by mountains, with a lake right in the middle, which flowed into a waterfall. Sephiroth’s heart skipped a beat, his whole makeshift body resonating. Someone with way too many Jenova cells in their body was inside.

When asked about it, he told Aerith that they should investigate, without thinking twice about it. But he was still… afraid. Or maybe afraid wasn’t the best way to describe it. Anxious, perhaps. Overthinking, definitely.

A complete, awful mess.

He didn’t want to go there when he had so much in mind, but at the same time… Ah. He still wanted to find her, find his mother (the real one) and tell her about his failings. Share the grief that was eating at him and find a little shard of… peace? Maybe.

Would she pity him for all the suffering he got from killing over and over and over again? Would she empathize with him for causing the demise of a loved one?

Would she leave him again?

Maybe that last thing was what he feared the most. It was too soon after losing Cloud and running right into complicated memories of Professor Gast. He couldn’t lose her as well. If he did, then… what would become of his already wrecked self?

“You don’t need to go if you don’t want to,” Aerith said, “it can be like the submarine. I can take a small group of people there, if something happens and we need everyone, we come back.”

Sephiroth shook his head.

They were already there, so what would be the point of staying behind? Either way, it was going to hurt. If Cloud had stayed in the path of his sword, he could do this too. He would do it for him, so when he finally had the courage to do something stupid like jumping off an airship to meet him, he could at least tell Cloud that he got to see his mother.

He just wondered if Cloud would be angry at him for jumping and cracking his skull somewhere. Even if his possibly eternal wrath was still much better than living in that world without him.

Vincent took a hold of his waist because clearly, he was overthinking himself once again, and leaped off the airship as if it was nothing. Sephiroth closed his eyes and tried to ignore the part of his brain that informed him that falling would feel just like that, but much less graceful and with his body ruined on the ground in the end instead of the gentle landing.

“Better?” Vincent asked.

“Not much. But thank you.”

He watched quietly as Vincent hummed in reply and took in the sights, very quiet himself but willing to wait for everyone else to get down there before entering the cave. Cid brought Nanaki along after Barret got down fast and efficiently. Yuffie had stayed, her motion sickness worsening enough that she only wanted to lie down for a bit. Cait Sith had stayed to keep her company.

Tifa opened her arms so Aerith could jump off the last few bits of rope ladder she had yet to get down from.

Much like Genesis and his body from before Nibelheim happened, his mother was encased in a crystal. And just like Vincent, she looked young, as if time had not passed for her; as if she could ignore its flow by hiding from the world in that crystal cave.

She wore white, an almost blinding color with all the glow from the crystals. The color of the wolf’s fur but not as intense of a presence. Her hands resting over her chest and her eyes closed, seemingly in peace, but…

“Lucrecia?” Vincent called out.

But she didn’t move. How could she, stuck in the crystal as she was? But she recognized his voice and spoke without ever moving her lips.

“Vincent… Vincent, I’m… sorry… Please don’t come close, please…”

Sephiroth didn’t know what took over him, but he crossed the waters of the cave with a rather impressive speed before reaching into the crystal with all his might. Not to offer a piece of materia, as Cloud had done to him so very long ago. But to pull her out of there and back into the world of the living.

Her body was frail from her self imposed isolation and her brown eyes had a glint or another of his green from the prolonged contact with the mako of the crystal, looking up at him in confusion and maybe… shock? He couldn’t tell. But outside of her own prison, she could speak through her own mouth once more, though her voice sounded a little hoarse from the lack of proper use.

“...My child…?”

He only needed to nod once for the tears to come, for her to latch onto him with the little strength she had and finally break down.


End file.
